10 Ways To Make Your Child A Confident Speaker

Speaking is an art with a science and that too speaking confidently is about a strategy that cannot be brushed aside as an ordinary exercise in child’s play. If started early it come effortlessly while for a late entrant to the skill is perpetually struggling. To groom confident speakers , a few pointers can be path breaking trial of competence in anyone kids or adults alike.

1.      Speaking is all in the head and is a developmental process. So it is important for our kids to have better beliefs about self , about acquiring knowledge and speaking per se.

2.      Encourage them to read books and to expose them to varied subjects , writing styles , powerful vocabulary and to gradually but surely fall in love with newer perspectives on incidences and more.

3.      It always helps to engage them in basic courtesies ( face to face , on phone , mails etc ) and a brief talk (especially for hesitant speakers )to share and challenge any of their limiting beliefs and fears about speaking.

4.      The magic mantra for confident speakers lies in a presupposition “I HAVE SOMETHING OF VALUE TO SHARE” OR “ I CAN DO IT”. It helps them approach speaking with a relaxed mindset and an unshakeable conviction. It thus reflects in their body language too.

5.      Awareness of the ingredients or the secret sauce of confident speakers includes appreciation of voice modulation , eye-contact, body language and sense of humor and can be untying the threads of doubt and incompetence if any.

6.      Let the kids have the privilege to be part of one or the other speaking clubs in your area. It makes them consciously aware of their shortcomings and provides a platform to express and a group of participants ...all that combined puts the odds in their favour.

7.      Kids who are allowed to voice their opinions , and express their feelings are naturally competent speakers. so the next time you snub them and cut them short while they speak , please make sure you have a reason for that.

8.      Modelling by being a good speaker is a sure shot process of persuasion to inspire your young bundles to stand up well to the task. Work on being a non-judgemental parent with a love for language/words/learning/reading.

9.      Behind every confident speaker is a that is well rehearsed and that too ideally minimum 3-14 hrs prior to its delivery. The more they practise their script , the better it is internalised and the outcome is the ability to sound natural and of course a relaxed body language and loads of eye-contact.

1.  Finally it all boils down to ‘STATES’..WHICH IS AN AMALGAMATION OF PICTURES/VISUALS (GOOD OR BAD BOTH) AND THE BODY LANGUAGE!!

If they visualise themselves as faltering , miffed & fearful , paralysingly conscious of the audience , the whole confidence goes for a toss.

Having made aware of the two together and the power of state management (by combining mental images and body language ) , let them visualise (initially a conscious effort though)of the goodness of teh experience , belief in self , and of sharing valuable information with others.

It will definitely put the demons of fear , and incompetence to rest and ensure an empowering state coupled with a body language that spells ‘CONFIDENCE’.

8 Psychological Tricks To Get Your Kids To Do Exactly As You Say!

Actions spring out of what we fundamentally desire and the best piece of advice for would –be persuaders (PARENTS in this context )  whether at home , at work or in social circles remains : “ FIRST AROUSE IN OTHER PERSON AN EAGER WANT. HE WHO CAN DO THIS HAS THE WHOLE WORLD WITH HIM.HE WHO CANNOT WALKS A LONELY WAY.” – Harry. A . Overstreet in Illuminating Human Behaviour.

1.     In my experience , Going by the above adage ... the only way to ensure that your kids toe the line is by being reasonable and in touch with some common sense. Consider what is in their for our young ones and letting them know the positive fall outs of it is a sure shot way forward.

2.     Being ecological in your demands and expectations of your kids has never gone wrong. Ecology implies that what you wish for, should have everyone’s interests and a win-win proposition in place. For example  how sticking to schedule would benefit them in growth , learning and performance in studies and overall  development and also  would be a source of sanity and ample free time to attend to other things craving for your attention.

3.     Giving orders / sermons / Do not argue types statements are bound to have an antagonistic effect on the kids and their listening to your well meaning preaching. Instead try to give options / choices a preference and keep the channels of synergy  , communication and compliance open. This makes them feel that he is party to the decision making and not merely complying under threat or compulsion.

4.     Accept the fact that given the kind of exposure  , today’s kids are a leader’s mindset. Let’s be mindful of the gap that exists today as we were particularly a follower’s mindset. This will keep your demands from your kids in a balanced perspective. It will help them  develop critical thinking and discussion temperament as the modern day skills.

5.     Kid’s map of things , situations , and people is pretty small and thus quite intense. So getting them  to do what you want might involve loads of shifting gears and discussions. Let’s get into  the  process of adopting varied perception by stepping into their shoes or better still by being a fly on the wall to view their resistance from a dissociated viewpoint. Believe me It will give you an unbiased overview of the situation and promote greater empathy for your kids. Needless to say , once this is practised there’s no stopping form here for your kids to comply with what you desire.

6.     One important aspect to remember whether we deal with kids or adults is as to how what you want is going to be beneficial for them and would be of  help  in the long run. They are so in love with themselves and with the pay-offs of their little / habitual (at times mindless) reflexes that by simply knowing what is in it for them  is often their primary focus in doing what you want them to do.

7.     Using Influence or Strategy is much more a workable solution while manipulation / tactics / tricks are only having feet of sand. Tricks remain a dirty word. You may trick your kids a couple of times into doing what you want but at the expense of loosing your long term credibility! Big price –whoa!!

8.     Finally , asking yourself “ How can I make my child to do it? “ This simple exercise will let lose the reins of your subconscious mind to more influence based ways for the same. I twill unleash ways to create the “Eager Want “in your child and the magic would never cease to exist.

5 ways to instantly concentrate and avoid distractions during study:

In times today when concentration is a casuality , distractions rule the day and a busy mind craves for a magic wand to undo the repercussions of a wandering mind and spirits , let's go back to a simple yet smart move to help concentration regain its lost glory. If there are challenges nowadays , there are equal or rather more number of solutions that abound.Here is a simple , smart and close a to magical recourse to effective study and productivity 

1)      Food intervals:  Many of us often ignore the very basic requirements of our wonderfully effective machinery-our body. The very basic of them being Hunger Pangs . Try to eat 20-30 minutes before or after your study hours as it not only avoids embarrassing and distracting muscle rotation and hunger but also drowsiness and breathlessness after food intake.

         2)      Water intake:  How often do we observe the water bottle beside us is empty by the end of the day?                      Well , rarely it is. But we must remember that water not only keeps you hydrated but also keeps tummy filled , inturn avoiding hunger pangs .

 

3)The Study Zone :  How a cocoon serves as the zone for a tiny pupa to nurture self and emerge as a beautiful and valiant creature is absolutely how one can take inspiration and make their own Study Zone . It is helpful to avoid distractions and accumulate all your concentration to focus on study , even if it is for a short while!

  

       4)      Ensure a gadget free duration when in your study zone: Though our gadgets prove to be a major asset to our daily hectic schedule , but we simply can’t ignore the ill-effects of it either. Gadgets prove to be a major distraction during study hours . It is pure human urge to check our phones every once in a while, inturn refraining us from wholly focussing on study . Conclusively howsovery short or long your study hours may last , let it be a no gadget zone for maximum productivity.

5) Stick to schedule or Align certain tasks for the day: Making a schedule and abiding by it is a must . One can even do the meagre job of aligning ‘the tasks of the day’ but what really matters is following it and accomplishing them all or at least 80-90% of the aimed .

These matter of fact strategies coupled with meditation and doable Brain gym exercises can certainly be a breather (talking out of 12 years of experience on using Braingym in my trainings ) can be of immense gains ..Go for it!!! 

STOP ACTING AS IF YOU WERE BORN ONLY YESTERDAY!!

Of late I happened to see lots of videos on different whats app groups about people complaining of getting a wrong product (adulterated ,bacteria infested , coagulated product , and many more reasons).Recently while I presented my case on the food safety and nutrition , I also happened to hear a young boy all of 8 years narrating how his Nani bought a Tetra Pak juice only to find it with some fungal growth. Since that day he and his family is convinced that bottles are a better option than six layered cartons.

Isn’t it an irony that plastic won over a packaging material that has  bio- degradable and recycleable elements?

 Does it not sound absurd that something that is good for earth and good for us and the products that we consume has lost out to a material that is ecologically toxic?

 Is it a gimmick that a company invests in a machinery , materials and systems that guarantee nutrition , food safety and preservative free consumable goods?

Who is to be blamed for the bad product that we get and that makes us feel cheated? Common sense says that we have to stop acting naive and as if we were born only yesterday. With information at the click of our fingers (online platforms like NQ course for Moms  at www.nutrition-quotient.com , blogs &content on food safety and nutrition and more ) why don’t we explore how we can have a product that is just right?

Lets clearly understand that if we get a product that’s not right it’s because we are doing somethings that are not right. The check list goes as given:

1.       When we buy a product are we focussing on  comparing prices only or we are also exploring the nutrition content of the two products?

2.       Is the packaging holding your attention or you do take out time to check the labels and facts printed on the cartons?

3.       Are we paying attention to the expiry or best before date given there and is it deciding our buying of that product ?

4.       Are we concerned about the packaging being tempered or we buy the excuse from the stockists that its the transportation effect?

Let’s be informed that a package that is damaged or tempered in any which way is bound to allow bacterial infections , light and other product deterioting factors to act foul.

5.       Are we finding out if the packaging is not bloated when we are buying the milks and juices specially?  

It’s another important point to understand that the bloated packaging is an indication of something gone wrong..think twice before buying else the onus of getting a wronged product is only and surely on you.

I am sure this concise list of to dos will serve you well in buying a product that is good for you , your family and the earth. It  will also save a lot of explaining and clearing their stands (every time a video on faulty product goes viral) for  the companies that have  invested a fortune in amazing technologies to serve with the right deal.

The only promise that you’ve got to make to yourself is that “I ll stop playing the Victim and take charge of what I get from this very moment”!!!

HOPE IS A WONDERFUL BREAKFAST BUT A BAD SUPPER

                    

It has been rightly said that one should read between the lines to gain insights into a particular scenario. Taking that as true let’s look at the present trends that are trending  all around us and we are all guilty of taking them  in our stride because of the BUSY-ness called Life.

We have amazing corporate –modelled and run schools today that promise the world to us and to our kids , on the other hand there are coaching & enrichment classes / tuitions (a necessary evil !!!!)which are growing at an equally alarming rate;

We have schools boasting of developing Life skills / enhancing and respecting  Multiple Intelligence skills of each child , on the other hand the people delivering them choose to be biased ; with attitudes and behaviours that are rigid and too old school...where marks define the child. IQ is still preferred over Emotional Quotient and they give a damn to the fact that times have changed and various innovative opportunities are today lining the horizon;

We all have this secret desire that our kids should be good readers , on the other hand the number of gadgets in an average household is exceeding the total number of family members ; (with kindle being the new gadget advertised so well , resisting the technology is only worsening the scenario);

We have facebook or whats app group updates eating into our time and energies , on the other hand people who matter are made to wait another day;

We have multiple apps and service providers from food , to grocery to medicines growing at a burgeoning rate , on the other hand the product / services (from network availabilities to personal deliveries) still need to buck up to match compared to the costs involved;

We have more people to employ as house helps / assistants (thanks to mushrooming of oodles of agencies , charging a bomb!!!) on the other hand the people placed have their values and attitudes severely distorted;

We talk of women growing stronger , achieving more , breaking the ceilings in various domains , on the other hand the episodes of abuse (physical , mental & emotional ) and violence have touched an all time high records ;

I can cite volumes on the facts that surround us and disturb us  ...even at the cost of sounding a problem thinker , but through my columns I definitely want to draw everyone’s attention to how we are getting immune to the fact that despite spending so much money , efforts and energies on things today , we are not getting our rightful dues.

Despite spending a bomb on the school fees we HAVE to shell out extra for tuition classes , handwriting / Olympiads/ handwriting / English speaking etc etc...

Despite having lifeskills development programs in school curriculum now , we HAVE teachers who calls the shot at the PTMs and give feedback that are quite demoralising for the parents and the students too....

Despite HAVING to pay extra for the various services that we avail on the routine basis , We remain poorly / underserved majorly as the service providers HAVE a staff that have no idea of basic courtesies ,...

Despite HAVING round the clock connectivity ON FACEBOOK AND WHATSAPP , we still have bridges to built in our personal relationships...

Despite the media full of women achievers , we still HAVE some crude and cruel ground realities revealing a darker side to their existence...

Despite HAVING a desire to transform our kids to avid readers , We still HAVE enough temptations  to afford multiple gadgets (A temptation too hard to resist!!).... Though they have provenly been the guilty behind our children’s dwindling attention spans....

I wish to urge you all that these might be my personal perceptions but they are not there without a reason for sure. We all need to introspect and reflect on this because “HOPE IS A WONDERFUL BREAKFAST BUT A BAD SUPPER”. Also allow me to remind all those die hard hope enthusiasts that the illusion of hope is apt enough to close one’s eye to the painful truths that abound.

I personally of the opinion that One should ...Be able to see things as hopeless ( The reality today) and yet be determined to make them otherwise.

Canvas Tabby..A battle that was.......

A BATTLE THAT WAS....

Coming from a traditional background where getting up early , reading books , rationed T.V time were the norm and deeply in grained in the conditioning , being not so kind to technology and its frills came naturally to me. But being a blogger and an open minded aware mother of two, I have experienced so many positive offshoots of the technology in my personal and professional life .Today I do accept the fact that ‘LIKE IT OR NOT THE TECHNOLOGY IS HERE TO STAY AND TOUCH ALL ASPECTS OF YOUR LIVES meaningfully provided we use it in balance.

This timewhen I was invited to attend the Micro max Blogger’s meet &  product launch event at the Grand , Delhi. It was an absolute pleasure to explore the all new  Canvas Tabby – the family tab with a dual mode- A regular android mode for parents and a special kids mode too. The product was , indeed , designed keeping things in perspective and being very kids friendly as the same time. T he TOUCH &  LEARN  feature addressed the needs of kids to explore the device in their own way , enhance their METACOGNITION (skill of learning to learn ) and attain information literacy .

As the product specs of the tabby were rolled out I realised that canvas tabby was truly a tool to an end...an end that wasn’t only entertainment oriented but educational too. With 100+ preloaded apps , 500+ videos , age appropriate content designed by experts , engaging interfaces and unique features like separate profiles (of course password protected!!! ) for each child in the family and more , one can’t ask for more in the price tagged to it.

What  struck a chord in me were actually a few  things like how effortlessly the canvas tabby could double up as learning and pure play platform for kids and as an absolute work tool for parents; How beautifully the product design team stepped into a parents shoes before finalising all aspects of the product  and last but the most interesting aspect was that the parental controls were aligned such that they can set passwords , time limits to the kid’s tech – time , add / block & promote content and and that they can view reports on what their kids have been upto. As per their promote content feature , we as parents can ensure 10 mins of English learning or maths practise before the kids begin with their games.

Today when are so proactively making our kids future ready  , we certainly should look into such well thought and designed technological aids to help them gain an edge. Our kids have the ICT literacy already built in their DNA and companies like Micro max are researching enough to facilitate and develop these  skills further. It wouldn’t be an exaggeration to comment that ignoring the Micro max CANVAS TABBY would be like compromising on kid’s skills for success...the skills for  2025!!!

Children and Inspiration.

                                  HOW TO INSPIRE CHILDREN TO DO BETTER.

Having worked as a mentor , guide and counselling psychologists for kids for over a decade  , I have developed some really empowering beliefs about inspiring kids .Through this column I wish to suggest some ways  to inspire children to have a growth mindset. But before I dwell deeper into the art and science of the inspiring children, I will prefer to share some underlying facts of my unique and scientific  methodology.

Some insights  that I value  highest  on a scale of one to ten and  that have garnered  in the due course of my work  includes :

1.       Children have all the resources that they will ever need to grow and acheive ;

2.       Children’s map of the world ( their experiences , emotions , perceptions , cognition etc ) is small and very intense ;and most importantly

3.       Children love the feedback but they want it to be constructively wrapped than just critically..

The irony is that most of the time the kids aren’t aware that there’s so much working in their favour and that they need constant reminders and motivational  reinforcements for it.

keeping  the aforesaid pointers in mind  ,  if anyone wishes the kids to have a growth mindset , the action plan has to be as stated:

·         Instead of harping on the problems (personality / life skills/ behavioural flaws related ) we can aid and  be a party to a guided roadmap to where and what  we  want them to be. Just the reinforcement that “You have all that you need “ and some simple life enhancing techniques that emphasise  power  of schedules , Time – management ., Self – motivation , and small simple steps to big outcomes repeated daily over a stipulated period of time can be magical.

·         Children (at least 90% ) are shy, reticent and introvert  because their perception of the world around them (THE MAPS ) or the events and the people is yet not complete and that’s exactly what causes hesitation and inhibitions in them and reflects as over cautiousness in their day to day interactions. Any adult who can understand this and can explain to them that there is always a gap between what they perceive and what stands as a reality is bound to have an inspiring effect on children for sure.

Letting them know  that it is normal is quite comforting .Also creating opportunities for interacting more with their surroundings can actually help them make their maps of the world BIGGER!! And that’s precisely how everyone gets better including we adults.

·         Another crucial factor  in influencing children to do better is the way we give them feedback. Now if I tell you that I have a “SPECIAL SAUCE METHODOLOGY “ to elicit the desired behaviours or that there is a BURGER WAY of give feedback !!!....The beauty of the technique is that it works really well when you ‘ve got to be giving a negative feedback to children and you do not intend to dishearten them or break their morale.

·         Let’s understand now how to facilitate the feedback in this way....the upshot is to sandwich the negative / unpleasant part of your message  (That’s the savoury , spicy patty in the burger )in between some of their positive attributes that they have displayed in recent past(That’s the buger buns )...so the feedback would be outcome oriented and sought after. Remember never ever give an incomplete burger...else it might have a ruining effect .

Remember to start with a positive behaviour / attitudes displayed by kids , put the negative feedback in the middle and top it up with another positive trait and there your BURGER is complete and ready to serve to the children.

This method is a sure shot way to nurturing a growth mindset in children and feedforwards them to  be open to more critical suggestions in future too. They are not defensive about it but they take it as an opportunity to learn and be motivated positively.

It all sounds quite easy to implement but honestly for one to be actually be able to inspire kids , we need to be perfect role models ourselves...don’t they say “Do not worry that your kids don’t listen to you , worry that they are watching you”!!!!!

Let’s not forget that inspiring children to realise their true potential  requires tremendous amount of unlearning to learn spirit and tons of perseverance but the rewards one reaps is way beyond any one can expect in the wildest of their dreams.